Ledge Walkers Page 13

She smiled. “But I don't lie to her."

  "Well, you dressed this one up to the point where it isn't recognizable,” I said, shaking my head, not liking what I felt in the pit of my stomach. “She thanked me for taking care of you. Now she thinks she owes me for something that never happened."

  "I did not tell her anything that didn't happen,” she claimed. “Sorry, chickie, but you'll have to own this one.

  You did take care of us. You always do. You're the one who grabbed us and rolled us down the hill, away from whatever we thought was about to get us. That is all I told her, and apparently that earns you big points in her book."

  I had to admit that I was taken aback, severely, to the point of whiplash.

  She smiled and said, “You know, if you went out there and asked everybody who they'd want in their corner when things got tough—the funny thing is that the two brutes would get the votes. The loudest, the most obnoxious, the most competitive, the most frustrating—everybody would pick you and Laura. Funny, isn't it?"

  I blushed by then. The face-on-fire kind of blush. Complimented and insulted in the same utterance—wow!

  She kissed me on the cheek and said, “You're a good shit, Kate. I love you."

  I had imagined arguing with her, begging her to come clean to them so that my guilt would vanish. I did not imagine this. I could not imagine this. Not this. So I shifted. “You were pretty amazing out there, Holly. You really helped Susan see some things she couldn't see. I'm glad we went together. Thank you."

  "That?” she retorted with a dismissive wave of her hand. “You should see me when I really get going!"

  That I did not doubt. Then I added, “By the way, your look innocent, smile a lot, and nibble kiss routine does not work."

  Her jaw dropped, and she scrunched her face almost as if she were saddened. “That's another one of those funny things,” she said, opening the door and starting to leave. “Because Claudia told me it works like a charm on you."

  I set my hand in motion to grab her and got nothing but a fistful of closed door.

  Eventually feeling like a new and thankfully clean woman, I headed back to the living room to find slowly decomposing bodies strewn from one end to the other. Claudia offered me a spot next to her and a cup of hot chocolate. Happily, I accepted both.

  "Kate, we've decided that you and Claudia should turn this place into a brothel,” Alison announced.

  What the hell had I missed?

  Claudia assured, “We were talking about sleeping arrangements.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes, as if acknowledging that an innocent conversation had gone horribly awry.

  "Think of it!” Alison said. “Your bed, a futon in the office, a bed complete with a Lover Doll, two couches with a pull-out bed here, two couches in the basement, and a couch on the porch. That's a lot!"

  "We're narcoleptic, Alison,” Claudia explained. “I tried to tell you that."

  "Well, to be honest,” I said, “I don't care where any of you sleep, but can Claudia and I stake claim to the porch?"

  Claudia smiled at me to seal the deal, and I did not think anyone would argue with the manager, not the madam, of the manor.

  Chapter 12

  The sounds of ducks in the distance roused me from my sleep. A vision of a half-naked woman on a ledge flashed inside my mind, and I shook my head. I normally did not wake to such things. I found it disconcerting and tried to snuggle closer to Claudia.

  We were in what we called the Symbiotic Slumber Chamber, which consisted of one big sleeping bag, two bodies, a cold night, and the couch on the porch. We established the chamber when we first moved into our house. It was a desired state then; the utter closeness we craved. When we fought, it was mandated, affirming the difficulty in staying mad when your body temperature depended on another. As we drifted apart over the past couple years, it became a relic; it hurt to be physically close when our hearts were so harshly offbeat.

  Ironically, that was when we needed it most—one of those lessons learned that we now swore would never require relearning. In the past month, more times than not we could be found in the chamber.

  I gently kissed her shoulder, and she stirred.

  "You're awfully stingy with your body heat,” she said very slowly, still groggy from sleep.

  "I think we both ran out hours ago,” I replied and kissed her shoulder again. “I love you."

  As she moved to roll toward me, she began, “I love—Oh my God, do I have a headache!"

  "Ah, my party girl. Want me to get Margarita so you can bite the hairy dog that bit you?"

  "I'd rather have a headache. Thank you."

  I eased her back into a comfortable position and began to rub her neck.

  "Do you know what time it is? Do we need to make a mad dash for clothes?” she asked, but I knew better than to expect her to dash anywhere.

  "I have no clue, but the house is still quiet. Just relax."

  As I rubbed, I found it odd to think that our house was filled with them. It felt so peaceful here, except for Claudia's desperate moans as relief tried to find her.

  "Interested in a foursome?” A voice suddenly came from the dining room and with it, a quiet knock on the glass door.

  How the hell does one answer a query like that?

  Then the voice made its intentions quite clear: Alison strode through the drapery and onto the porch, a coffee cup in each hand. “Joe and Earl meet Claudia and Kate."

  "Oh my God, Alison,” Claudia softly yelled. “You are a lifesaver."

  We took her offering with unadulterated greed.

  I couldn't resist, so I asked, “And where did you sleep last night, missy?"

  Claudia elbowed me and told me it was none of my business.

  "That's okay, Claudia,” she said. “I have nothing to be ashamed of.We did not sleep. We talked all night. We straightened up your basement, too. Now, we're raiding your fridge to make everybody breakfast. Is that okay?"

  Was it! I was famished.

  I rested my coffee cup on Claudia's hip and just smiled at Alison.

  "If you did it on purpose, guys, thank you,” she said, returning the smile that bordered on a beam. “If you didn't, well, thank you anyway.” She swiftly disappeared into the house.

  I hadn't even enjoyed two sips of my coffee before another voice summoned, “Is it okay to come out? Can I bother you two?"

  We pledged a welcome, and Maggie entered, placing herself uncomfortably on the edge of a chair. We exchanged a few pleasantries, and then she said, “I just wanted to thank you, Kate, for what you did for Susan last night. She's different. I'm not sure how, but something's different. She asked me to take her up to the pridefest. She said she wants to start doing things out of town, until she feels safer. Totally blew me away.” She smiled and shook her head in near disbelief.

  "I didn't do anything,” I assured her. “You'll have to take that up with Holly. She was the force."

  "Yes, but you were there for her, right down to actually giving her the shirt off your back."

  Damn, the shirt thing again. I glanced at Claudia, figuring dead meat would reanimate like a zombie wanting to eat my brains on the half-shell. She merely smiled at me.

  We exchanged a few more pleasantries with Maggie, and then she disappeared into the house.

  "I do know you,” Claudia said to me as she took a hefty swig of Earl. “And I trust you. If I had thought you did something wrong, trust me, I would not have teased you. I would have killed you."

  Oh, that made me feel better. I reminded myself to find and carefully watch those Ps and Qs I had stashed away somewhere.

  I was just about to encourage that mad dash across the cold porch for our clothes when yet another summons came. I imagined a sign on the inside of the house:Claudia and Kate now holding court.

  This time it was Susan. For her, I imagined her line-art face in the dictionary right next to “hangover.” She looked like she had been toasted, strung up, hunted down, shoved into a ravine, dragged throu
gh mud ...Oh yeah.

  "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about last night and to thank you for helping me.” She smiled, and it looked as though it physically pained her to do so.

  I assured her that everything was okay, and then she dutifully performed the disappearing act.

  "I'm going to grab our clothes before it's too late,” I said, setting my coffee cup on the floor. “They're coming out of the woodwork. Let me out."

  "No” was all she said.

  "Honey, you don't have to move. I'll get them."

  "No. We're staying here. We're not moving."

  I tried to wriggle through the top of the sleeping bag, crushing her in the process, when the tidal wave hit. Ever-bubbly Holly and Laura shook the room with their presence. If they hadn't carried another cup of coffee and tea for us, I would have screamed.

  "You two are still in bed?” Holly asked incredulously.

  "Did you get stuck together in the middle of the night or something?” Laura asked, feigning concern. “Do I need to get a crowbar and pry you apart?"

  Claudia groaned. “If you can pry my head off, go for it."

  "Oh, come on, you guys,” Holly urged. “It's a beautiful day. We're ready for class."

  "There is no school today. Go back to bed,” Claudia grumbled as she took the fresh cup of tea from Laura.

  Then the rest of them entered. Alison carried a tray of food, and Janice managed the plates and silverware.

  Maggie and Susan pulled an end table into the center of the room. When everything was set up, places were claimed on chairs and the floor, and then the non-Holly kind of nibbling began.

  Claudia hung over the side of the couch, which severely limited my choices for both sitting and breakfast.

  "Can I get you something?” Janice asked, sensing my predicament.

  "No, thanks,” I lied. “I'm fine right here."

  "I bet you could go for that first cigarette of the day, though,” Laura teased as she headed out the back door.

  I watched her light, inhale, and exhale as if it resuscitated. All the while she grinned at me.

  "Honey, I need to get up,” I tried again.

  This time she flipped over, peered at me, and fumed, “No, now you're stuck. You don't have clothes on. There is no way you're getting up. Uh uh, no way. We're staying here.” She shook her head and returned to her hanging position.

  "Honey, I showered with half of these guys yesterday. I doubt that seeing my glorious butt is going to cause a riot."

  Laura, of course, had to chime in, “Well, that depends on what kind of riot you're talking about."

  I stuck my tongue out at her and motioned for Alison to throw our clothes. They landed in a heap on the sleeping bag. I grabbed my T-shirt and told her to let me up, and again she refused. Now she was being ridiculous.

  "Claudia, what's the big deal?” I asked, trying not to sound as frustrated as I felt. “I tried to get our clothes before; you wouldn't let me. We're the ones who chose to sleep on a thoroughfare instead of in the privacy of our own room. Let me up."

  Women! Hungover women!

  "Please don't,” she said, and I thought she started crying, but I doubted my own observational skills on that one.

  Just in case, I tried to pull her near. She grabbed me with more urgency than she had ever grabbed Earl. I made a wheeling motion with my hand to Laura, who got the conversation going again in the room and away from us.

  "What, honey?” I whispered. “Talk to me."

  She didn't answer; rather, she softly cried and held me in that way that seemed as if she was trying to get inside of me.

  I whispered again, “I don't understand, but I'll stay."

  I held her and tried to understand without her help. Since she had started dealing with her grandmother's death, she had moments like this ... like even if she had me in her arms I was still not close enough. The best I could figure was that it was the “weep to have that which it fears to lose” stuff Kris explained to me. I didn't know what else it could be. She was grieving. I tried to be as consistent and reassuring with her as I knew how to be.

  It just seemed like something inside of her cracked open occasionally, and every vulnerability became excruciatingly exposed to light and air.

  Holly was seated on the floor in front of us, and she shot me a quizzical look. I discretely shrugged and tried to indicate with my eyes that I didn't know what to do. “Help!” I mouthed.

  "Claudia!” Holly said, batting her arm behind her. “If you've fallen back asleep you are in big trouble. No sympathy for hangovers."

  "No sympathy for you!” she spat back at her. “In fact—” She flew to a seated position, pulling the sleeping bag, and me, with her. “I am so pissed at the two of you I can't even think straight!” She glared at Holly and then me.

  I winced, but unflinching Holly looked her squarely in the eyes. Totally devoid of defensiveness, she asked,

  “What did we do, sweetie?"

  "You know what the hell you did!” she erupted, ping-ponging furious scowls between us. “You go traipsing around in the dark of night, half-naked, not giving a damn that anybody on this end might give a shit whether something happens to you or not!"

  Susan bravely jumped in to defend us, “It's not their fault. If I hadn't gone in the first place none of this wouldn't have happened.” Guilt made itself at home on her face.

  "I don't buy that for a second, Susan. You were drunk, weren't you?” She stared at her until she received a sheepish nod of admission. “Well, what's their excuse? I don't think they were drunk, so that leaves stupidity."

  "Honey!” I yelled. “Nothing happened!” Relieving myself of guilt, I said, “We just got freaked out by Sam and Maggie. It was stupid."

  "Stupid?” she fumed even louder. “You should have been freaked out if you weren't expecting a car. Stupid?

  No! That was probably the only thing you did that wasn't stupid—and we were stupid for not calling to warn you. What was stupid was ever getting yourself in a situation where you had to hide in a ditch in the first place.”

  She took a deep, desperate breath and continued, “You get a parade of people through here thanking you. Well, how goddamn noble of you! Did it ever even cross either of your minds what the hell we were thinking? I thought I lost you!” Then she started wildly pounding my legs.

  I seized her and just held on as the tears burst forth.

  She shrieked, “What would I do? What the hell would I do?"

  Now I was crying, swept into a scene that felt intolerable but for different reasons than they usually evoked.

  Holly teared up, too, as she rubbed Claudia's leg. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I just held on.

  Her sobbing slowly eased, and in one quick motion, she swept us both back to a prone position. She clutched me and calmly said, “So I've decided that we're just going to stay here like this and never get up. Just skin and nothing to come between."

  In any other context, I would have joked and thought that sounded pretty good. But this was different. Scary different.

  Holly proved the brave one again. “Sweetie, she's not some porcelain doll you can stick on a shelf. She's Kate.

  She's got to move. She's got to do stupid things. She's got to stick her nose in everybody's business and call it a press pass.” She smiled, expecting no wrath.

  "I can't do this, Holly!” she screamed. “I can't."

  "Sure, you can. Youare doing it,” she countered. “We all grew up to be strong, healthy women. Remember?”

  When Claudia remained silent, Holly looked behind her and asked loudly, “What did we grow up to be, girls?"

  A choir of strong, healthy women shouted, “Strong, healthy women!"

  Claudia sniffed and then almost smiled. “It's overrated, girls. Sometimes it just plain sucks."

  "It does, chickie,” Holly readily agreed. “Sometimes it really does. Buy hey, when you can't be one, chances are pretty damn good that one of your sisters here still is and c
an take up the slack.” She stood up and smiled at her, putting a hand on each hip. “Right now, it's my turn, so let Kate go. Just back away."

  Claudia still did not move, but it felt different. I was not ‘dear life’ she hung onto anymore; I was a point she pushed.

  Holly called to Laura, “Babe, do you do hostage negotiation or don't you have to do that with homicide victims?"

  "Promise something,” Laura instructed. “Promise her anything, even if you don't have any intention of letting her have it."

  Slight, cautious laughter—the mood lightened by one notch.